TV PILOT 1st Scene Script – JAKOB’S COVE, by Travis Darkow

 

Genre: Mystery, Sci-Fi, Suspense

A crazy mash up of The X-Files and Supernatural, but with more violence, old school noir detective movies like The Maltese Falcon, and the soundtrack style of Stranger Things or It Follows, 80’s synthesizer and all.

CAST LIST:

Narrator: Carina Cojeen
Det. Jameson: Charles Gordon

Get to know the writer: 

 1. What is your screenplay about?

A seasoned detective is sent to a sleepy seaside town to investigate an increasing number of disappearances. As he digs into the town and the locals, he soon discovers that the reasons for these disappearances begin to point to the paranormal, and the seemingly quiet Jakob’s Cove is a mere facade for a much darker reality that brews within the town. Detective Jameson doesn’t learn it in the pilot, but the audience sees that Scarlett has some sort of “abilities” and turns out soon thereafter to be a witch. Scarlett along with two other witches, and a cloaked group of mysterious figures from the community known in secret as The Order of the Blood Raven control some sort of interdimensional rift that is a gateway to tangent realms where thought-to-be mythical creatures and monsters exist. The witches, in a pact with a family of vampires, are the ones taking the missing people, and sacrificing them to an overlord of these realms in exchange for power. The pilot sets up the horror/supernatural aspect, as well as introducing the main characters, all while leaving enough mystery as to what’s to come, that I think is really exciting.

2. What genres does your screenplay fall under?

I would say first and foremost it falls under Mystery/Horror, with elements of thriller and suspense, as well as some nods to old school detective movies, and bits of humor sprinkled throughout, mostly from Elliot, and even Jameson, albeit unintentionally.

3. Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?

I truly believe this world I’ve begun to create would make a wonderfully strange canvas on which to paint a compelling horror/supernatural mystery tale. I have spent so many hundreds of hours working on developing Jakob’s Cove, not just as a script, but as a “real” place. Mainly for my own sake, I have worked out and outlined potentially where the entire show could go as a series, and I have found myself in some very interesting places creatively in doing so. I have outlined multiple seasons to see what types of obstacles our ragtag group of protagonists could face. Each season would present a new creature or two (werewolves, extraterrestrials etc.) that have been summoned through the space-time rift that lies in the crypts beneath the cemetery, that is controlled by the group of witches. I visualized Jakob’s Cove as a series that starts off strange and doesn’t let up. I imagine each episode as no nonsense, fast paced horror, mystery and suspense, always leaving the viewer craving the next episode, as Jameson transforms from stern detective to monster hunting badass who has to expel these beasts back into the void. I think this blend of supernatural horror, mystery, and everyday people becoming the heroes over this dark little town would be an intense, strange and satisfying watch for audiences to keep coming back to, as the possibilities of what could happen and where it could go are potentially limitless.

4. How would you describe this script in two words?

Cosmic and frenetic

5. What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

It would probably be a close one between The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Sandlot.

6. How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I originally outlined the overall idea for Jakob’s Cove 3 years ago, back then it was only going to be a short story, until I saw the potential for expanding this world. I wrote the first draft about 7 or 8 months ago, then sat on it for a while as I continued with the handful of other projects I’m working on. I wrote the 2nd draft maybe 4 months ago, and the 3rd and most current draft the very next day after receiving my feedback from you guys.

7. How many stories have you written?

I am constantly writing stories and outlining ideas for future projects. Currently I have 4 other screenplays I’m developing that range from a heist film, to a zombie-western, a horror-comedy and another horror movie. I have written and shot around 10 or so no budget short films since high school, and recently finished the script for another short film that I plan to shoot this summer. I have written 9 children’s books so far, and have another handful that I’m currently rotating between working on as well as trying to get them published. I also have a large collection of poetry I write, and about 5 other short stories I’m also working on.

8. What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)

It’s way too hard to pick just one favorite song, but close to the top of the list would have to be Everlong by Foo Fighters or any song by Angels and Airwaves.

9. What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

The biggest obstacle I think was that initially I started to visualize Jakob’s Cove as a short story, so when my wife threw out the idea of turning it into a television format I thought it was perfect, I just had to rework it a lot and expand a massive amount. From there I outlined where the entire series could potentially go as well as each season, and the story arcs of each character to better understand the world itself before tackling the pilot. All that, and the longs hours spent hunched over on the hard dining room chair on the laptop.

10. Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

I am very passionate about my wife Kelsey and our dog Jax. I love more than anything to spend time with them. Aside from that I love video games, as well as writing and creating music.

11. You entered your screenplay via FilmFreeway. What has been your experiences working with the submission platform site?

I love FilmFreeway, I think it’s an extremely helpful tool for writers of any experience level. It’s very easy to search festivals that are specifically catered to what you’re looking for, and I love having all my screenwriting submissions available in one spot, it makes them much easier to manage.

12. What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I have always been passionate about writing from a very young age. After so many years of only getting to write in my spare time between working a job I have close to zero passion for, I put one thought into my head and made myself a promise. That promise was that I am not going to rest until my writing is how I support my family. I thought that the feedback I received was very insightful and I appreciated it greatly. It showed that my script was actually read and thought about, and it was definitely useful in how I approached the 3rd draft of my script.

*****

Producer: Matthew Toffolo – http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne

Editor: John Johnson

Camera Op: Mary Cox

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TV SCI-FI BEST SCENE Reading of MORPH, by Christine Davis

Genre: Sci-Fi, Crime

Logline: “Morph” is a Sci-Fi story in which Jack Oberman is a Los Angeles homicide detective who gets captured by the killers he pursues, mad scientists who alter his DNA and turn him into a monster.

CAST LIST:
Narrator: Sean Ballantyne
Morty: Allan Michael Brunet
Jack: Nick Baillie

Get to know the writer:

 1. What is your screenplay about?

Morph is about a slightly bromantic pairing of two cops, one of whom is a former accountant from the East Coast. As LA homicide detectives, their first case brings them up against a mad scientist who captures Detective Jack Oberman and alters his DNA so he turns into a strange nonhuman but still vaguely recognizable creature. Reminiscent of the fun of Season 1’s Hawaii Five-O pairing of Steve and Danny, fused with the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferigno The Incredible Hulk TV show from the 1970s, Morph brings procedural cop television into the sci-fi/creature genre, creating opportunities for individual episode arcs and one single overarching goal for the protagonist: finding a cure that’ll keep him from turning into the monster he becomes, even as he has to keep his day job of being a cop, solving mysteries and saving lives. All with his somewhat annoying partner – the only other person who knows his secret (or so he thinks) – along for the ride.

2. What genres does your screenplay fall under?

Broadly, it’s Science Fiction. It could also be called Superhero Fiction because technically the creature Jack morphs into acts much like the Hulk, and is therefore an unwilling superhero. It’s a Crime Drama with a focus on being a Detective Story and could fit into any number of Fantasy sub-genres. In other words, this TV show has the potential to draw in a lot of viewers from a lot of different genres!

3. Why should this screenplay be made into a TV show?

Broad appeal. Superheroes are all the rage these days, you need only check out the numbers from Marvel and DC Comics offerings at the box office. In addition, procedurals such as the aforementioned Hawaii Five-O, NCIS, Criminal Minds and the multiple Law & Order and CSI spinoffs have proven that fans continue to have a huge appetite for episodic catch-the-bad-guy shows. There will also always be a large fan base for Creature Features. A lot of the Hammer Horror movies still have a rabid cult following, and bringing the heart into those in the way that Bixby’s David Banner/Hulk transformation did brings in a side to the audience you may not get if you go straight horror or hard-boiled detective. What I used to call “the CBS side of things.” 

4. How would you describe this script in two words?

Fresh, fun

5. What movie have you seen the most times in your life?

Setting aside Disney movies (it doesn’t count if you see a move nonstop because of your child viewing it repeatedly!), probably Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan or White Christmas. It’s really a toss-up because if I get obsessed with something I will watch it repeatedly for a period of time and then suddenly I’ll be over it and move on to the next thing!

6. How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I worked on it for approximately six months, including heavy revisions after some feedback I received via a different screenplay competition.

7. How many stories have you written?

I have written hundreds of fan fiction stories, five completed screenplays and two original novel series. Never mind the ones I’ve written that haven’t yet seen the light of day. So a lot!

8. What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)

Instrumental: A River Runs Through It by Yiruma; Vocal (general): The Sound of Silence by Disturbed; Vocal (romantic): Per Te by Josh Groban and Bound by Christina Aguilera; Pop: Thunder by Imagine Dragons

Sorry. I listen to a LOT of music and MANY different genres!

9. What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

Morphing (ha-ha) what began as a work of fan fiction into a screenplay and a novel series. It’s not easy to go from a world your reader already knows to creating one out of whole cloth. I also had to weigh my own vision against some feedback that tried to veer it away from the slightly campy/comic book feel I purposely gave it. It’s not always easy to take a stance and stick to it because it’s what feels right versus what’s popular.

10. Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

My home, Oahu, Hawaii…specifically the Ko’olau Range and historic and ancient Hawaiian sites. Homeless pets and homeless people. Helping people learn how to help themselves and tackle their Overwhelm. My ImpCat, Ramses, who’s an insane feline.

11. You entered your screenplay via FilmFreeway. What has been your experiences working with the submission platform site?

I think it’s fantastic. Had no troubles whatsoever. It’s nice having so much in one place like that.

12. What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I’ve entered before with other screenplays, but I don’t think I’d ever entered a logline competition. I wanted to give it a try because I thought I had a really good logline for this TV pilot! In spite of that self-assuredness, I actually am thrilled and quite surprised that I made the top twenty! Thank you!

******

Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne

Editor: John Johnson

Camera Op: Mary Cox

January 2018 TV Pilot/Spec Screenplay Winners

ACTORTV SPEC Screenplay of RICK & MORTY TV Show
January 2018 Reading
by Daniel Richardson
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – PEEL
January 2018 Reading
by Matthew Torti
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – FUNNY FARM
January 2018 Reading
by Deshon Porter
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – CELTIC BLOOD
January 2018 Reading
by Richard William Masterson
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – NOVEMBER OF MY SOUL
January 2018 Reading
by Jack Trammell
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – A MATTER OF BAD TASTE
January 2018 Reading
by Gene Gwynne
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – CRUDE INVESTIGATIONS
January 2018 Reading
by Chris Roberts
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – FUTRE TENSE
January 2018 Reading
by Kyle Williamson
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – MOISH’S MOB
January 2018 Reading
by David R. Weinraub
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – LASTVIEW
January 2018 Reading
by Taylor Johnson
ACTOR TV Best Scene Screenplay – ED’S DOOR AND WINDOW CO.
January 2018 Reading
by Parker Cross Jr.
ACTORTV Best Scene Screenplay – AMERICAN SCHOOL
January 2018 Reading
by Michael Hager

****

Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

Camera Operator: Mary Cox

TV THRILLER BEST SCENE Reading of MOISH’S MOB, by David R. Weinraub

Genre: Crime, Mob, Thriller

Partnering with the Israeli Mossad, brilliant, bisexual and manipulative Saul Cohen leads five neighborhood friends from Moish’s Luncheonette in North Philly, on a takeover of the South Philly mob, and into the world of international intrigue.

CAST LIST:
Narrator: Elizabeth Rose Morriss
Saul: Peter-Mark Raphael
Don: Scott McCulloch

******

Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne

Editor: John Johnson

Camera Op: Mary Cox

TV COMEDY BEST SCENE Reading of Crude Investigations, by Chris Roberts

Genre: Comedy

Logline: In this mockumentary, a frustrated and guilt-ridden ghost hunter and his comically inept squad of investigators have one night to find evidence of the afterlife to save their cable TV show.

CAST LIST:
Narrator: Val Cole
Harv: Peter-Mark Raphael
Chris: Scott McCulloch
Sohrab: Gabriel Darku

Get to know the writer:

 
1. What is your screenplay about?
After his sponsor gives him an ultimatum, a guilt-ridden ghost hunter and his comically inept and dysfunctional squad of investigators have one night to find evidence of the afterlife to save their cable TV show.

2. What genres does your screenplay fall under?
Tough question. I would put it in the comedy/paranormal/mockumentary genre.

3. Why should this screenplay be made into a movie?
It shouldn’t be. It’s a TV pilot.

4. How would you describe this script in two words?
Spooks and goofs.

5. What movie have you seen the most times in your life?
Harry Potter

6. How long have you been working on this screenplay?
It’s been a 6 year labour of love.

7. How many stories have you written?
Two.

8. What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)
Home for a Rest by Spirit of the West.

9. What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?
Life got in the way, had to put the script away for almost 2 years before dusting it off and finishing it. By far my biggest obstacle was (and still is) trying to pairing down the script from 90 odd pages to 60.

10. Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?
Aside from my family, hockey, coaching and healthy living.
 

******

Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier

Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne

Editor: John Johnson

Camera Op: Mary Cox

Winning TV SPEC Screenplay – BETTER CALL SAUL, by Jimmy Prosser

Genre: Crime, Drama

Suspended lawyer Jimmy McGill endures community service at a high school where he meets an accused teen, while Mike searches for the distributor of Cheese, a popular new drug.

Narrator: Val Cole
Jimmy: Noah Casey
Mike: David Schaap
Bobby/Nacho: Gabriel Darku
Talbot/Hector: Neil Bennett
Secretary: Clare Blackwood
Kim: Lauren Toffan

Get to know the writer:

What is your TV Spec screenplay about?

The logline is “Suspended lawyer Jimmy McGill endures community service at a high school where he meets an accused teen, while Mike searches for the distributor of Cheese, a popular new drug.” Going deeper, this episode provides viewers a better understanding of why Jimmy McGill cares about his clients, and particularly those over their head and in situations they did not anticipate. In a flashback, we see teen Jimmy (along with young buddy Marco) devising a clever money making scam but abandoned by older brother Chuck once caught. In present day, Jimmy identifies too closely with an accused teen as he struggles to find a way to defend him. We also learn more about the Hector/Gus rivalry as they make moves to expand from meth to a new heroin derivative that became very hot in this time frame.

How does this episode fit into the context of the TV series?

“QUESO” would be Episode 26 ½ (during Season 3 between episodes 6/7) and opens on Jimmy’s first attempt to satisfy his community service requirements following his suspension by the New Mexico Bar Association.

How would you describe this script in two words?

Achilles heal

What TV show do you keep watching over and over again?

The show I’ve watched repeatedly over the years is “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Each of the characters are perfectly drawn and I admire the writers’ willingness to really push boundaries. However, the show that I currently admire most is “Black Mirror.” I have been focusing on one-hour drama and, as I work on my own pilot and series bible, the tone and structure of “Black Mirror” is what keeps coming to mind. If I could write for one show, it’s “Black Mirror.”

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I will be graduating in a few months from New York University’s (NYU), Tisch School of the Arts, where I study Dramatic Writing and Producing in the Maurice Kanbar Institute of Film and Television. I’ve written plays, screenplays and sitcoms, but this script, QUESO, is my first one hour drama spec, which I wrote over 12 weeks this past summer.

How many stories have you written?

I’ve always liked to tell stories – but mostly orally to my family and friends. About 4 years ago, I began dramatic writing in earnest so over that time I must have written 20-30 short stories, plays, screenplays, sitcoms and now television drama scripts.

What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)

Being a kid growing up in San Diego during the 2000s, I have to say “I Miss You” by Blink-182.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

I believe I’ve been able to capture the characters/dialogue and tone of “Better Call Saul” pretty well so the toughest part for me is to formulate the proper four act structure in a way that really communicates the right arc for the A, B and C stories.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

Music, definitely. My favorite escapes are listening to music alone or grabbing instruments to play with my buddies as loudly as we can. When I write, a soundtrack always is in my head.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

As I mentioned before, I’ve written a lot but this is my first drama spec so I was anxious to hear objective feedback. Some of the feedback I received was right on; some I think missed aspects of the script, especially when it comes to Jimmy’s motivation to help Bobby.

You entered your screenplay via FilmFreeway. What has been your experiences working with the submission platform site?

FilmFreeway has been great. My first experience with it was submitting a short screenplay, “NOTEWORTHY,” which won several festivals and is going to be shot in January. We hope to submit that completed short film to several of the best festivals next year via FilmFreeway because it is very easy to use.

Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?

As painful as it is, I feel that you must create a full beat sheet before trying to write the script! Once that solid outline is in place, the writing comes much easier. It is tempting to write a fun standalone scene as soon as you think of it, but if you don’t have your structure in place you may find yourself spending too much time trying to wedge that scene into the overall story. 

****

Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

Camera Operator: Mary Cox

Original Script Reading of BOJACK HORSEMAN TV Show, by Cameron Chapman

Set at the end of Season Three, BoJack takes his new philosophy of isolation literally when he’s accidentally kidnapped by a health and wellness cult.

Genre: Comedy, Animation

CAST LIST:

Narrator: Laura Kyswaty
BoJack: Rob Notman
Kevin Spacey: James Boutcher
Buzz: Luke Robinson
Ethan: Brandon Knox
Olivia: Lindsay Rolland Mills
Sabrina: Premika Leo
Lizzie: Julie McCarthy

 Get to know the writer:

What is your screenplay based on the TV show about?

This BoJack Horseman Spec Script picks up right at the end of Season Three when BoJack is accidentally kidnapped by a health and wellness cult and their charismatic leader, Kevin Spacey. While unknowingly trapped in their desert compound he explores his newfound philosophy of isolation while deep-diving into an old episode of his former sitcom “Horsin’ Around”.

I tried to connect BoJack closer with his character from “Horsin’ Around” through the idea that they both manage to surround themselves with a supporting cast, mainly, to not allow themselves to be truly alone. When he flees to the desert at the end of the third season I think there’s this notion that BoJack needs to work on breaking down all the emotional barriers he’s built up over the years but I liked the idea that, in true BoJack self destructive style, he decides what he needs is the opposite. That he needs the isolation and maybe in his own BoJack way, he’s not wrong?

How does this screenplay fit into the context of the TV series?

When I wrote this I envisioned it as essentially Episode 13 of Season 3 of the series, picking up right where we left off, BoJack in the desert, alone, watching the herd of wild horses running off in the distance. Of course since then Season 4 has been released so I would have assumed it’s context within the full arc of the series would be obliterated, however with a couple tiny tweaks I can still see it slipping in quite nicely between the first and second episodes of Season 4 which starts off with BoJack still AWOL.

How would you describe this script in two words?

Alone together, (question mark)…

What TV show do you keep watching over and over again?

Obviously BoJack Horseman, I usually crush it in a hurry the day it’s released but they created such a rich, fast paced show and it’s wall to wall jokes so it’s always worth going back over again and again to pick up more details. I also love Man Seeking Woman, Rick & Morty and Silicon Valley. This past year Search Party, Fleabag and Catastrophe were especially great. There’s so much great TV on right now in all genres, on so many platforms, I’m just devouring it all!

How long have you been working on this screenplay?

I wrote this in 14 days, start to finish. Hahaha! I received an email about applying to a writing program at an animation studio and part of the application process was to write a Spec Script off their list of approved shows. I saw BoJack on there and thought, yup, this is happening! Unfortunately the deadline to apply was in 14 days but somehow I finished and submitted in time. It was the first Spec I’ve ever written but it all came together fairly quickly.

How many stories have you written?

I’ve written several short and full length screenplays and am currently about six episodes into a Series that, I suppose, would fall into the 1 hour drama category. I work full time in the Film Industry mainly as a Production Coordinator so I try to write as much as I can. Of course, anyone familiar with the hours we work in film might question my sanity but this is why we do it. Right?! We’re here to tell stories no matter how self destructive, Hahaha!

What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)

I’ve always said that “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog is my favourite song of all time. There’s a beautiful cover by Willie Nelson too.

What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?

Well as I said above, I was working full time, 12-14 hour days on a Series for SyFy called Wynonna Earp when I wrote this and I remember being on the ice at hockey one night thinking, “Oh what if this happened in BoJack or what if that happened” or whatever. Hahaha! I also have an amazing Wife and two incredible Children so I would say the hardest part was not sleeping for two weeks.

Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?

I’m Canadian so naturally I’m a huge Hockey fan but I love Baseball, Music and Film, anything Star Wars… I love Comedy and Animation. My Family is the most important thing in the world to me so every chance I get to share one of my passions, including my writing, with them is very special.

What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?

I had entered this same Spec Script into a different contest and it luckily performed quite well, making it to the semi-finals. There was only one other Spec in that group of scripts and I noticed it was one that had previously won this Festival. When I saw that the reward for winning was a live reading I couldn’t not enter it. The value as a writer of hearing your script read aloud in the hands of professional actors is too immense and can’t be overstated. It was a no brainer. Plus I was really looking forward to seeing who got cast as a man with the head of a horse.

The feedback was unexpectedly thoughtful. I was bracing to get raked a bit for writing such a BoJack-centric BoJack episode which I assume is not the best way to tackle a Spec Script but I feel like the feedback I received understood most of the themes and what I was going for. That was a pleasant surprise which really helped me to push forward on some other projects I’m working on and to trust myself going forward.

Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?

Share! Don’t be overprotective of your ideas or your writing. You’re not alone in the universe, you’re not the only one scratching out crappy dialogue at 3:00am on a Sunday. Find like minded people either in your hometown or online and share, work together, go away and write, come back together and give feedback. Talk about it, work it, be open, make it better.

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Producer: Matthew Toffolo http://www.matthewtoffolo.com

Director: Kierston Drier
Casting Director: Sean Ballantyne
Editor: John Johnson

Camera Operator: Mary Cox