Received feedback. Always insightful to hear what people have to contribute about your work. Thank you for creating this outlet; it is incredibly useful to any writer/director/web series creator. Very constructive. Much appreciated.
Submit your TV Show/Pilot via FilmFreeway:
Probably the best and most informative feedback I have ever gotten for this! Thank you so much I’ve been trying to figure out what isn’t quite right with the script – the notes make complete sense! Thank you again, now I know what to do to tighten it up
– Tania Penn, TV Pilot
While serving as the opening act for singer Shy Baldwin on his European tour, Midge grapples with the anxiety and fraud complex that comes with her increasing stardom. Meanwhile, Susie wrestles with a secret she should have revealed to Midge a long time ago.
CAST LIST:
Rose: Jordan Boscariol
Joel: Fabio Abreu
Shy: Gabriel Darku
Narration: Sean Ballantyne
Midge: Justine Christensen
Susie: Elizabeth Rose Morriss
Moise: William Poulin
Abe: Steven Holmberg
Beverly uses a Caboodle to glamourize Barry into “Bowie”, who sings against Erica to win Lainey’s extra Guns N’ Roses ticket – becoming “The Labyrinth” muse Adam needs to remove his writer’s block.
CAST LIST:
Erica – 30 – KATELYN VARADI
Murray – 22 – PETER NELSON
Beverly – 70 – PAOLA SCATTOLON
Narration – Sean Ballantyne
Barry – 64 – NICK DOLAN
Adam – 43 – ADRIAN CARLOS CARTER
Lainey – 32 – KYANA TERESA
We are so happy that our web series got to be a part of the FEEDBACK festival! It was extremely helpful to receive both positive and constructive feedback from audience members. The festival itself is very well organized with excellent communication from its contacts. The lineup had a great mix of work from both experienced and emerging filmmakers. Thanks to the FEEDBACK team!!
– Sarah Campbell
Very well organized and well attended. We received valuable feedback from the diverse audience. The moderator was great and jump started their participation. I definitely recommend it for all creators and filmmakers!
The Grubb family experience the effects of advertising as Sis appears on voyeur TV; little Brother stays home to watch porno; while Mon and Dad eat out at a crappy restaurant; sponsored by Queerios, S&M’s, Pap Smear Ribbon Beer, and B S Coffee.
After shooting Summer and Morty with a ray that forces them to spout their inner monologues, Rick takes Beth out on a space adventure for her birthday.
What is your TV Pilot screenplay based on RICK AND MORTY about?
My speculative script for Rick and Morty is about developing a tangible relationship between Rick and Beth. The sub-plot focuses on gender roles and how people perceive them. I thought it was really fun to explore reactions to people speaking their mind as well as gender stereotypes through Morty and Summer’s schooling.
How does the episode fit into the context of the television show?
In the context of the show, this episode would fit somewhere in season 2. I wrote the screenplay whilst waiting for season 3 and it felt like a natural continuation of what preceded it. With the release of season 3 and the character changes that have already occurred, I’d now definitely place my screenplay as a season 2 episode.
How would you describe this script in two words?
Heaven Burning.
What TV show do you keep watching over and over again?
Bob’s Burgers is my favourite show to binge-watch. It reminds me of the wholesome, family oriented, comedy that was so successful in early episodes of The Simpsons (another show I have watched over and over again).
How long have you been working on this screenplay?
The original draft was written in around a month, when I wasn’t too busy with work. The re-drafts and edits took about two months because of a busy schedule. During that time, I’d spend a lot of time jotting down fresh thoughts for the show and tinkering with ideas.
How many stories have you written?
I have written around 9 television specs and pilots, some of which will never see the light of day (for good reason). In terms of stories, I have a lot of notes outlining beats in old notepads. I think it is always good to have a bunch of ideas to draw off, even if you leave parts of the story behind. The only problem is sifting through the bad ideas.
What is your favorite song? (Or, what song have you listened to the most times in your life?)
My favourite song, by some margin, is Millencolin – ‘No Cigar’. It’s a great punk-rock song and was one of the first tracks that introduced me to the genre. I think the message of the song is fantastic and its support of diversity has made it a track that has grown in significance, for me personally, as the years have passed.
What obstacles did you face to finish this screenplay?
I found two big obstacles in writing this screenplay and they were time management and re-reading. Time management is pretty self explanatory, I wanted to give more time to the script than I had. The issue of re-reading your own work is that it’s quite an insular process and so I find myself growing tired of my own writing and questioning my jokes. During this time, it was really helpful to get friends to read the script and tell me what they liked/ disliked.
Apart from writing, what else are you passionate about?
I’m a big fan of music, particularly punk and metal. I feel these genres offer interesting ideological perspectives and also my joy of music introduced me to working with radio which was really gratifying. I also love soccer (or football as we call it here in the UK). Between football, music and writing I play video-games when I’m tired of being passionate for the day.
What influenced you to enter the festival? What were your feelings on the initial feedback you received?
The main thing that influenced me to enter WILDsound’s festival was the fact that they gave feedback. So many competitions demand a large amount of money for feedback or give non at all, as someone who considers himself to be a developing writer, these kinds of competitions didn’t offer as much room for me to grow.
I always think feedback is incredibly useful, but it puts you on an emotional rollercoaster. Scripts take so long to put together, that you become reluctant to see its flaws. With that said, the feedback I received was very helpful. On my first effort, the script relied on meta humor rather than real motivation for the continuation of the story. I think this is a problem that the writers of Rick and Morty have now found in season 3.
Episodes like ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ and ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ both have moments where they outline the call to action or turn to the camera and skip to later in the story. These moments are too knowing and disrupt the story for a small comedic payoff. I like to think the final version of my screenplay avoided this disorientating style of humor and that’s thanks to the feedback I received.
Any advice or tips you’d like to pass on to other writers?
Buy a notepad, pester any literate friends you have to read your work and plan your stories thoroughly before you write. Also, collaborations can be really helpful for developing your skills and getting out of an insular writing space!
I’ve been trying to figure out what isn’t quite right with the script – the notes make complete sense! Thank you again, now I know what to do to tighten it up
TV SPEC Screenplay of RICK & MORTY TV Show
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